---
As the latest applicant's cloak whipped dramatically around the corner after him and the door closed on his maniacal laughter, Etta rested her face in her hands. She'd interviewed three of them already, and was deeply regretting her choice to offer "On the Spot" interviews for this position. Villains. She wished one of them would freeze her in stasis and hold her for ransom just to simplify things. They might even get the job that way.
Still rubbing her temples, she pulled the next resume closer to her.
The Maxinator
4250 Bridge St
Trenton, MI 48183
Email: the_maxinator23@hotmail.com
Cell: 112-xxx-xxxx
PAST POSITIONS:
CHIEF HENCHMAN at RAGE CORP. 2011-2015
LIBRARIAN at NEFARIOUS REFERENCE LIBRARY 2015-2016
SKILLS:
LIBRARIAN at NEFARIOUS REFERENCE LIBRARY 2015-2016
SKILLS:
Planning and Execution
Managerial Experience (see above)
Fashion Sense
Computer and Phone Proficiency
Typing (76 wpm 86% accuracy)
Weapons Proficiency (guns and blades, 5 yrs exp.)
Managerial Experience (see above)
Fashion Sense
Computer and Phone Proficiency
Typing (76 wpm 86% accuracy)
Weapons Proficiency (guns and blades, 5 yrs exp.)
Etta hardly needed to read more. It was an ugly resume, but it gave her the information she wanted. This one had experience and was eager to prove himself. She slapped the buzzer on her desk to let those in the waiting room know she would take the next applicant, and The Maxinator strode dramatically through the door. It took less than a second of exposure to his brilliant blue and purple outfit to know that "fashion sense" had no place on the paper in front of her.
This day was never going to end.
-WANTED AD-
ReplyDelete-VILLIANRY-
Are you a villain who's looking for the next big thing? Have you been passed by all your life, and waiting to make a difference (evil difference!) in the world? Do you love making long-winded monologe speeches that give away your entire plan to the good guys?
Then we have a job for you!
Job Posting: Head Honcho for Acme School of Villianry.
Job Description: Use an underwater villian academe and your students and pupils to take over the world!
Compensation: 100 million dollars a day! *note: the good guys may still win*
Required skillsets:
Extensive speech planning and delivery
High intelligence to plan over-complicated schemes that have gaping flaws in them
Experience working with Acme equipment
Must have style, fashion, and impressive presentation!!
Must bring own evil henchmen. (no experience necessary for henchmen)
Start Date: You haven't started yet? What are you waiting for?
End Date: We don't have an exact date yet, but you'll know, believe me!